Creating the best of me

Looks like after reading a two or three articles about writing, I’ve decided to continue to write on this blog. Before this I had decided to close it down as I don’t know what the hell I wrote it here. Mostly I wrote things that just popup out of my mind and emotion. That was not a good sign of writing though.

Anyway, I need to start to write to level 1 again. I want to become a baby who is learning how to write properly. Well, I can crawl but until when I will start walking? I don’t to crawl in my whole life in this hectic arena. Writing is a must for me if I want to achieve what I have dreamed about since I was a child – successful writer.

Oh well, I need to start put some oil on my gears especially my head and hand. Both of them need to be clear. My mind need to guide my hand what to write while my hand need to guide my mind the beauty and easy of writing on the keyboard.

Actually it is hard to write without the guidance of something like a draft of what to write. Like now. I write bluntly thinking what to relate to the title written by me. I might lead me to a good article, but it will not always be like that. Most of the time the writer’s block will haunted me more than what I might get.

I’m thinking about to make a rough draft every time I want to write something on this blog. I can make a simple mind map. At least that can train my mind to think more creatively rather than stuck with one idea and don’t know how to expand it.

Eventually, I need to produce ideas from what I have rather than what I don’t have. That is what the best of me I can get.


Entering the hard zone

Oh well, that is what I suppose to have when I was in first year. I should busy myself doing all sort of things. It just only recently I try my best to be busy as possible. I know when I enter this busy zone it also means I entered the hard zone. I need to be tough then.

Many works need to be done. I need to reorganize back my time schedule and do better. I need to set my best priority of what I need to do and what I need not to do.

Well, that will be hard if I always enter Facebook to look around what is new around me. I kind of hate it. Facebook really make my world go round yet it also kills most of my time. I feel that I have nothing to do except than looking flawlessly on Facebook. Reading what’s the latest and trendy nowadays.

Well, I need to cut that. I need to stay focus. I need to look what I need to achieve this week. And that is what will I do right now. My first aim to be able to answer test 2 excellently without any doubt.

Then I need to focus in achieving great result about my tutorial report. I have start not to send it. That is hard for me though. I spent to much wondering what will I do in life, yet I have found it in front of me – to become a writer.

My greatest dream is to become a very famous writer. Yeah. Famous. If I famous then it means I have achieve like what JK Rowling had done in her life. Writing novels that can attract people to read.

I want my race to read more. I want to share the joy of reading. But how? I just don’t know how if I just see blank pages every single day. I should start filling all the blank pages with my pen and not with my mind.

Only with that then people will be able to see what I had done to achieve my aim.

I have a bad habit of telling people what will I do, yet I will not actually do that thing if the people I say don’t gave a good response of what I said. That shows how bad my attitude of doing things only when I want to brag about it. That is really really bad.

I should not do that as that will actually kill my achievement in life. I have 4 more days to finish what I had start. On 28th November, I will focus 100% in developing my organization website.

I need to understand more how my organization work and its objective so that I can reflect it on its blog. Or else the blog will deflect and not be what they want – gaining more members.

Then I wonder, they just want members or active members? I don’t see much my organization work as a team. Actually they focus more on the spiritual part rather than humanity part. Where should I start then?

I wonder how can I contribute my greatest skills before I left the organization to more higher level? I need to think more and try to be creative in it then. I should not just only focus on my work. I don’t want to be left alone doing things that can’t bring much impact to my country. I need to start make a revolution then. I need to grab the opportunity that come in front of me or else how can I get the grasp of becoming a true leader?

600 words of pain

I writing this while having pain in my right eye. It been so long that I had this pain and now it attack me again. I can’t do much work when I’m in pain especially the one that requires eyes to work. When my one eye hurt, it affect the other one too. I can’t open both of my eyes easyliy.

I have one class today and I need to go through it with pain. I close my eyes most of the time during the class. I pretend that I was sleepy but the truth was I’m not. It just that the pain slows down when I closed my eyes. It ease the pain I have.

I still confused why my right eye hurt so much. Before this it when only for few hours but now it when more than that. It almost more than 24 hours my right eye hurt. What I suspect is that when my body temperature increase, it will effect my right eye as showing that there is less water inside my body.

For that I need to refill it by drink a lot water. Even I drink almost 3 liter today, the pain only reduced little. Eventually I drank a cup of tangerine juice to cool down my body temperature. Alhamdullillah it kind of working. The pain slowly reduced although I can still feel the pain while I blink.

Right now the pain hold my work. Most of the work I need to be done can’t complete today. I even can’t see well while typing this essay. How awful is that!

I need to find a way to make this pain go away and cure my right eye again. Tomorrow I will go to university clinic center to check for any damage on my right eye. Before this I had gone there but it seems that the medicine the doctor gave wasn’t working as it supposed to. I can still see a tiny black spot on my right irish. It supposed to become yellow colour and then turn to some kind of white again. But I don’t see any changes in it showing that the damage is still there.

Hurts in eyes can relly be bad. Because eyes in one of the main organ that people use in their daily life. We see things so that we can work. So when my eyes hurt, it really affect all of my daily life. What can I do now is just to sleep and pray that the pain will go away when I wake up. That is the best choice I can do.

I had ate a tablet of pain killer but nothing ease my pain. Then I ate a tablet of swallon medicine. I hope it will ease the pain but it wasn’t working at all.

What reduce it only water. Now I feel that I might get attack by fever. Some come of fluid came out of my nose saying that I might get a flu. Oh I just cured from flu last week and now it will attack me again. Looks like my antibody is weak. I can’t fight it easily.

I think I need to eat healthy food to overcome this problem. I don’t want to prolong this problem to certain extend that I will not able to handle it well.

I called my mom and told her about my pain. I just want to inform her about the pain I got so that she will be aware of it if anything bad happen to me. I don’t want to make my parents worry much about me. I pray that this pain will go away soon so that I can return to do my job.

Leading the research

Basically I been through a hard day finding my way of continuing my study. I don’t know what kind of research shall I done. What I know is that I want to get PhD in Soil section. That is all what I can think of. I never thought about the how can I get it. I only think When can I get it.

Pityfull of it, now my supervisor had advised me to look for another lecturer to supervise me if my attidute is still like this until the end of the semester. How can I change it? I have no idea right now. What I can do is read, read and read journals. I don’t know what to think of.

Maybe because I was so lazy to think. I should get my head up and brainstorming any sort of questions or inqueries I should be. With that I can find more and more possibilites of what kind of research I will done.

Right now I’m reading book title “How to do your research project.”

The first topic talk about making great introduction. How to make a great introduction? By setting right questions the moment you want to start a research project.

There are mainly four type of questions the author suggest. Fisrt is the enquiry. I must able to have curiosity in doing something. Then Relation question. Relate what will I do with what the consequences will it done if I do the research. Then What x cause y. Kind of cause question. And lastly about hypothesis. Expecting what yes or no the result will be in the upcoming research.

So what kind of question I need to lead me do great research then? I’m confused in it.

I want to do research in soil yet I too need to know what kind of crop I need to relate with the soil. Or else my research will be pointless and I will more like geologist then. What make a soil scientist from agriculture is that he is able to differentiate the nutrients needed for certain plants.

Then I wonder why on earth I don’t read about Petai Belalang? I had read several journals given by my supervisor about Petai Belalang and what most I can found is that Petai Belalang strive most at alkaline soil. The problem I can relate is that soil in Malaysia most of them are acidic which means it contradict with the need of Petai belalang trees.

So how can we improve that? By adding lime. But hold on for a second. That means my experiment will be so easy to find out. Then how can I make it more complicated? I search the use of Petai belalang. What my SV suggest is that Petai Belalang will be the main ingredient at Kerteh Biotech plants in producing bio-methionine. How great is that?

That means Petai belalang contain some sort of methionine that is needed to produce the bio-methionine. So how can I relate it with Petai belalang then?

Hold on for a second. Lynas is producing biowaste which some sort of liming material. It contain sulphur. And you know what, methionine requires sulphur as sulphur is part of amino acid. Methionine is an amino acid then.

Then I can look how the tree absorb the biowaste and produce some sort of methionine in it. But then, how can I relate that with soil? I wonder that. Maybe I can relate how using the amendment of biowaste increase the soil pH and its fertility hence increase the methionine content in the tree then?

Well, I need to do more reading and thinking on this matter.

Opensource organization the heck!

I just need to organize back my life then. It is hard to do things without knowing what will you do next. I hate to plan but love to action. Isn’t that ironic?

I plan to write every single day but I don’t plan what to write and when to write. How to write is just a piece of cake for me. Well writing can be a tedious work I can say.

Oh there was an issue about using pirated software in Malaysia computers. Actually most of Malaysia do use pirated software all start from Operating System up until word processor. Well, it is a sin for a muslim to use things that are not theirs in the first place.

So how can I overcome this kind of pirate softwares? I want to make great alternatives for any of Malaysian to switch to more free and easy to use software. Yup. It is linux. Or I can relate it to opensource software. It is a great software but it just that less tutorial and guide how to use it in term of Malaysian culture and language. I doubt there are less information about it in English than Malay.

So how can I encourage them to use the free software? Making great tutorials for them. There are 3 types of ways to educate them how to se the software effectively. One is to write about it. Two is to make a video about it. Three is to have direct questions and answer to all problems that they will occured or having of.

I bet with that, there will be more Malaysia use open source as their primary software. Most of the Malaysian need office software to write. Well, LibreOffice is a great tool for that. It just that because we are too comfortable with Microsoft office, we tend not to change it.

The process need to be done slowly and with planning. I can’t urge them to change instantly or else they will breakdown and will return  to pirated software again.

Another great software of photoshop is Gimp. I found that Gimp can do what Adobe photoshop can. It just I found less user friendly tutorial how to use Gimp effectively. Most of them write simple things about Gimp but don’t show how we can use Gimp to its potential.

How wasteful is that.

I too had found a great local website describing linux yet they all die. When I try to comment about it, the communities there will reject me as like that is what opensource is all about. Giving and taking and sharing. I should not complain for that.

But what I want to say is that, if you don’t start it first, who else will write about Linux? You got a great potential website, yet you don’t have proper marketing planning to promote linux and its uses among Malaysian. Don’t be ridiculous to expect people like me who are less to know technical knowledge about Linux to promote Linux.

You suppose to make a forum and lead the beginners where the can get the solution. After a question, write about it and expect to put it in the blog. With that, newbies will less tend to ask the same question over and over again. Isn’t that easy?

That is why I love documentation properly. With that, even if I was not there, people can still get the information and learn it by themselves and not hoping for other people to help them. The noob is still noob. We need to teach them how to fish while giving them the fish. And then the community of Linux will get stronger. Aim high to lead Linux industries in Malaysia in information sector.

Making the great deal of writing

Yeah. I love writing. But it just that I don’t know what to write. It seems that my ideas are so many but my time is so little. I can’t locate my great deal of time to write. Oh my!

Let me recollect for the past few days ago. I try my best to write something here but then my mind seems blanked for a moment. Later after I went away from my lappy, the ideas flow seemlessly. Am I doing it wrong?

I got tonne of ideas to write but I too don’t know whether it is ok or not. Yeah. I know. My supervisor had advised me just to write anything first. It just for me to break the wall of writer’s head. I need to practice everyday writing so that with that I will not walking anymore but running.

It just the same as reading. If I keep reading slowly, thinking that I will understand it better, I actually have give my mind that reading slowly is alright. Eventually my habit of reading become slow. I suppose to read fast. I bought a book about speed reading yet I don’t understand things I had read in it! Damn!

I need to re-read it again then. I bought a book titled “Speed Reading” by Tony Buzan. I think everybody who uses mind map in their daily life know who is Tony Buzan because he is the founder of that technique.

My problem is that I try not to practice new skills I gained while I try to learn new other skills. How pathetic is that? Learning requires consistency or else how on earth I can gain the skills better?

Just like writing, I found that the more I write, the more I become clear of what I intend to write. Isn’t that good? It just that I need idea to write. Oh I too learn that in order to break the writer’s what so ever, writing ignoring the grammar and and sort of spelling mistakes can really pump me up in writing. Just like what I do in this blog.

This blog is specially I dedicated to improve my writing in English by speed typing. Means that I will write anything pop out of my mind. It will no matter what I write as long as I write.

Then I will read it later and see what I was wrong and try to get it right. I too will know what kind of words actually I frequently used. I do have the grasp of English common vocabulary as I read Times Magazine, abrubtly.

But the Time Magazine come to my house so fast that I can’t get a hand of reading one the other issue come. How fast they produced it!

I too impressed on how their author can write more than thousands of words in the article although not all of them seems quality to me. Because I don’t understand much what their write. I only understand after I read it more than one. Means two or three times of reading gave me a bit of understanding of what I read on Time Magazine.

Maybe because the title and its issues doesn’t make me fun to read. I love to read Knowledge Magazine, however. It gives me some kind of new knowledge related to science. I then can reflect it in my conversation with friends. But not all I will talk about because that will shows how self eccentric I was then. Experience teach me that, I need to talk less about what I learn to my friends or else I will get some weird feeling that I was stupid to tell them that.

Writing the truth

For me to write about something, we must have legit information to write about it. I can’t just bluntly write without having prior knowledge about it. Experience is one of the knowledge.

So today I want to talk about writing about a truth of something base on experience. I have lived more than 23 years and several months until today. I keep record my life start from I was kid. The memory seems to flash back to me when it was needed.

That is how I intrepret when I my record of experiences started. With that I can write it easily. I crave my experience with my writing on it.

It might be true and it might be false. But why should I tell false stories for the sake of my reading? It is better for me to talk about the truth so that it will be easy for me to refer it back.

I try by writing it on papers. Any kind of books I managed to get hand of I will try my best to describe my experience for that day. Eventually when the age of technology hits me, I started to write it on blog. That was when I learn a lot about blogging.

Blogging can be hard if you don’t know the real ethics of it. My previous experience teach me that I need to be careful of what I write on the Internet or else I will get some trouble. And that was what I got.

Luckily Allah had guide me. I cover the mistake by apoligizing the person I criticise about. Well, I was new in this blogging world and was affected by stupid blogs I found.

The more I’ve been in this bloggin world, I began to understand that blogging can be fun if we stay to its ethique. Well. nobody ever taught me that. I learn it via experiences.

I write things I like. I write things I had learn through experience. I call it Mr Exp. Experience is tough if we never took lesson from it. So it is important for me to keep record of what I experienced in life.

Sometimes I wonder too how can I made a same mistake over and over again. Was it because I was stupid or I just don’t get what I had learn for my previous experience?

It took me to learn something more than 3 times of mistakes before I really understand what Mr. Exp had taught me. I’m kind of late learner for that. However if I have learn and understand it, I will make no mistake in repeating the same mistakes again.

That is why every events I went have a post moterm. They try their best of not repeating the same mistake again. But then I wonder, why they do make the same mistakes again after that?

When I look at it back, it was because the people who had learn the mistake try not to teach it to newbies or their junior or somebody else who will create event like them before.

That is also why I love to read people biography. Any kind of people whether he is famous or not. It will teach me that whatever I had experience, there were more worst experience other people had. So why should I not try to overcome any obstacle I have in life so that later I too can teach them new techniques of handling the same problem they will have with my kind of approach.

The diversity of choices will help us in learning new things faster and effective. That is why it is important for me to keep track of what I had experience in life.